“Never enough”: Monchi’s autobiography is radically honest NDR.de – culture – book

Status: 04/11/2022 1:51 p.m

His face is reminiscent of a cuddly stuffed animal: Jan Gorkow, the singer and lyricist of the punk band Feine Sahne Fischfilet, is just called Monchi by everyone. His autobiography appears under the title “Niemals satiated”.

by Lenore Loetsch

Where is the limit of scales? Not that Monchi is particularly interested in his body weight, but attempts to weigh himself in friends’ bathrooms end in vain. When he finally discovered a load scale in the back room of a club in December 2019, where he performed with the band Feine Sahne Fischfilet, the truth was three digits. At least one is still ahead. He weighs, as he writes, more than mothers and fathers put together: “The end result of years of dessert, second helpings and pork suff is in front of me, and I have to swallow quite a bit. There is a 1 at the front, followed by the 8 and the whole thing is garnished with a 3: 183 kilos.”

Of breaking chairs and addiction

When Monchi gave interviews in a hotel in Warnemünde this week to promote his book, it was 64 kilograms lighter. But the addiction is still there: “I came in here earlier and there are two thoughts. The first: The chairs have no armrests – awesome, although I can fit in now. But I didn’t fit in there before and was afraid that chairs would break off And secondly: There’s a cake, there are wraps. Interview day is until 6 p.m. I think about it all the time and I’m not allowed to get started. It’s always excessive!”

“Never enough”: No provocation, but radical honesty

“Niemals satiated” could be a weight loss book or a motivational primer with kitsch sentences and ego exaggeration. She could talk about intermittent fasting and cycling, but Monchi, in his mid-30s, has decided to tell and write the way he has lived in recent years: radical, brash and open-hearted to the point of pain. He fought with his editor, who wanted to delete some episodes. But Monchi refused to close the door to the toilet, to the bedroom. This time it wasn’t the desire to provoke, but radical honesty: “Of course it was a struggle for me, but I tried not to portray it in a voyeuristic or clownish way. It was part of my everyday life. Toilet seats just often broke under me “Monchi says. “For many people, the most natural need in the world is very shameful. For me too, actually. Such limitations are part of being fat: at some point even going to the toilet can become a problem. Bitter, but true.”

Monchi: stage pig, identification figure and hunted by the right

He has always been the stage pig and the pugnacious mouthpiece of the band Feine Sahne Fischfilet from Western Pomerania, a figure of identification for leftists and radicals, declared by some of the feature pages to be the charismatic singer of the “band of the hour”, hated and hunted by the right. This book tells about that too. And how you get into a Mecklenburg gymnasium with 182 kilograms and being watched: “Once I was asked by acquaintances from Berlin whether I couldn’t just go to a gym where no Nazis train. This question shows how far life realities are can be apart, even if the respective places of residence are only a two-hour drive away. Yes, where should I go? Should I always drive to Kreuzberg to do an hour of sport or what?”

The constant threats and hatred from the right-wing extremist scene have left their mark on the singer. “After all the death threats, I don’t ask myself whether I’m on a death list, but on how many,” the 34-year-old told the Berlin “Tagesspiegel”. It’s always difficult for him to see himself as a threatened person, said Gorkov. He does not belong to any scene, but is shaped by left-wing thinking, according to which others are always worse off than oneself.

“I still can’t sing and now I’m playing at Rock am Ring”

The constant toughness made him crazy, said the musician, whose trademark for years was his 182-kilo body weight: “When I see how the CDU didn’t care that the Nazis killed one of theirs with Walter Lübcke, then I can I can imagine how little people would care if someone came for me.”

Where does his anger come from, he wonders, why didn’t he become a normal Hansa Rostock fan, but an Ultra? If everyone says: “That’s too great, that’s not possible!”, why can’t he accept the border? What others call life feels to him like a corset that he doesn’t fit and doesn’t want to fit into. Whether I’m 183 or 120 kilograms: “My head is always on. Even when I’m sleeping. I would very much like to be much calmer, more relaxed. I wouldn’t like to think only in worst-case scenarios, but there were also a lot of cool things,” says Monchi. “I have no mugger training, I can’t get grades when I wrote lines like: ‘I still can’t sing and now I’m playing at Rock am Ring.’ We stood there with Feine Sahne Fischfilet and played in front of 40,000 people. And they weren’t waiting for another band. It’s absolutely amazing what you’ve been able to experience and certainly wouldn’t have happened if I was playing the bank clerk all the time.”

“Never fed up”: A book like a North German pub talk

“Never fed up” sometimes reads like Ulrich Plenzdorf’s “The New Sorrows of Young W.” and then again, as if Monchi were a good friend of Wolfgang Herrndorf’s “Tschick”. A book like a North German pub talk: the swear word density is enormous, but you just like to sit with this guy who is incorrect, passionate and honest: “I can’t stand people who babble but don’t do anything,” he says. “When someone tells me how difficult it is for him or her, it creates distance for me. That’s how my family shaped me. My mother instilled two feelings in me. First: don’t whine! And second: that you have to be ‘serious’ when you do something.”

Never full – about the hunger for life and 182 kilos on the scales

Page number:
320 pages
KiWi paperback
Release date:
April 7, 2022

This topic in the program:

NDR Culture | Classic in the day | 07.04.2022 | 6:40 a.m

NDR logo